This treatise arises from criticism concerning a certain animal variously known as Mongrel, Jesus, Pavlov, Carpita, Terence, even Bluey though he's red, mainly. Most familiarly, however, as DOG.
Ignorance is no basis for critical analysis.
To know about dogs one has to know several things. Like his history, origins, where he came from etc. Read Marx, Engels, Hegel, Lenin. You'll end up knowing he was once a wolf. DOG that is.
Give Darwin a go for added value.
You need to know that he has instincts. See Pavlov. The thing is - what instincts are useful to you, GOD, which the discerning will have noticed is DOG in reverse. The aim is to encourage some and discourage others.
For example... to bark madly at dope thieves and bite coppers but not dig plants up or attack the postie or garbos. How do you do this? There are several ways. Here are some.
Starve your dog. This is useful in that it will do what it is told some of the time out of sheer hunger and lassitude arising therefrom. Disadvantages include wrecking neighbours' garbage, attacking dear old ladies cats, birds, local trendies poodles and in extremis maybe kids. Added to which the animal may rip your own fingers off if you offer it food in a thoughtless and unguarded moment.
Overfeed your dog. Cram as many cans of dog food and that technicolour dry crap that makes it drop rainbow hued turds down its gluttinous throat as possible. Exercise is forbidden. The object will become so fat and useless as the cunning bastard takes over your joint you won't have a worry in the world. Flatulence can be nasty but you can look forward to a short life as an early cancer death is likely.
Belt your dog. Belt can mean an infinite variety of measures. Kicking is O.K. except when wearing only thongs. Brooms are useful as are garden rakes and the barbie poker but it usually ends up being the nearest thing to hand. The only definitive is that it must cause pain.
Cut your dog. The horrifying implications of this are not even to be contemplated, despite local Council, RSPCA and other encouragements. GOD and DOG are as one on this. Our cry goes out to all, even to the fascists in the Animal Liberation Front.
STOP THE CUT, FOR ONCE WE ARE CUT WE ARE NO LONGER DOGS BUT SOMETHING LESS THAN HUMAN.
Or vice/versa depending on whether it is GOD'S or DOG'S nackers involved in the exercise.
I, personally, prefer method number three as DOG's desire to please me will bear witness. Number one is useful as a back up if used with care.
But there's nothing like a good kick up the arse to show your loyal companion who's who in this class ridden world.
Ignorance is no basis for critical analysis.
To know about dogs one has to know several things. Like his history, origins, where he came from etc. Read Marx, Engels, Hegel, Lenin. You'll end up knowing he was once a wolf. DOG that is.
Give Darwin a go for added value.
You need to know that he has instincts. See Pavlov. The thing is - what instincts are useful to you, GOD, which the discerning will have noticed is DOG in reverse. The aim is to encourage some and discourage others.
For example... to bark madly at dope thieves and bite coppers but not dig plants up or attack the postie or garbos. How do you do this? There are several ways. Here are some.
Starve your dog. This is useful in that it will do what it is told some of the time out of sheer hunger and lassitude arising therefrom. Disadvantages include wrecking neighbours' garbage, attacking dear old ladies cats, birds, local trendies poodles and in extremis maybe kids. Added to which the animal may rip your own fingers off if you offer it food in a thoughtless and unguarded moment.
Overfeed your dog. Cram as many cans of dog food and that technicolour dry crap that makes it drop rainbow hued turds down its gluttinous throat as possible. Exercise is forbidden. The object will become so fat and useless as the cunning bastard takes over your joint you won't have a worry in the world. Flatulence can be nasty but you can look forward to a short life as an early cancer death is likely.
Belt your dog. Belt can mean an infinite variety of measures. Kicking is O.K. except when wearing only thongs. Brooms are useful as are garden rakes and the barbie poker but it usually ends up being the nearest thing to hand. The only definitive is that it must cause pain.
Cut your dog. The horrifying implications of this are not even to be contemplated, despite local Council, RSPCA and other encouragements. GOD and DOG are as one on this. Our cry goes out to all, even to the fascists in the Animal Liberation Front.
STOP THE CUT, FOR ONCE WE ARE CUT WE ARE NO LONGER DOGS BUT SOMETHING LESS THAN HUMAN.
Or vice/versa depending on whether it is GOD'S or DOG'S nackers involved in the exercise.
I, personally, prefer method number three as DOG's desire to please me will bear witness. Number one is useful as a back up if used with care.
But there's nothing like a good kick up the arse to show your loyal companion who's who in this class ridden world.
